Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
