There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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