people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
