OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize