Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
