hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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