just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
