That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We just shotgunned beers for America
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
