I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
