Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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