I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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