I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
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So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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