yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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