he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Randomize
