So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
