Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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