Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
