i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize