Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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