I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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