From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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