TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
