There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize