Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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