We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
