Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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