Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize