Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
