apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
