What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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