Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've blown a few things in my day
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
