I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
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