You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
