i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Say something about gay babies.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
