i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
