Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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