This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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