You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
