You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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