Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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