I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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