i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
