my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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