Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
