id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
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