1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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