The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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