I hope mine doesn't look like that
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
