i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
