So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
