Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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