Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
