I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize