it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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