it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
