Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
